Without You
by YunaMustang
Summary: Life goes on, but I'm gone cause I die without you...
1. Without You

_**Without You**_

It hurts. It hurts so much not having you anymore. Of course I have Louis, my wonderful Prince, but you were always meant to be my one true Prince…

Everything that we've been through; the gossip, the lies, the hurt, the games, the love, everything… it was only suppose to make us stronger, but in the end, all it did was weaken us.

You slept with that… that Brooklyn bitch. You ruined us. But now, being engaged to Louis, having seen your anger first hand at the engagement… hearing your words always echoing in my head, "_You're mine_." I want to be yours, I _need_ to be yours…

I'm not Blair Waldorf without you.

* * *

><p>This is just something I'm working on. I'm using the song Without You from RENT and basically creating a story using it with the lyrics (it'll be more clear once more chapter are up).<p>

Let me know what you think!


	2. The Ground is Thawing

_**The Ground Thaws**_

Yet another cold day in New York.

Walking around the park with Serena is nott really that much fun today for some reason. Perhaps it's because she's talking about you. About how secluded and weird you've been acting. Nate's been saying the same things. Oddly, I feel the need to go to your place and comfort you, to get you to talk to me. No… it's not odd that I feel that way.

As we walk, I tune Serena out, not wanting to hear her talking about you. It only hurts…

Then again, with my mind thinking of you, it still hurts.

I try to distract myself by the surroundings. Snow thawing on the ground. It's cold, but the sun is out, slowly melting away the snow.

"Let's go shopping." I say suddenly. "I'm bored with walking around, and I need a new dress for tonight's dinner party at your mother's."

Serena smiles, "Sounds good."

I try to be happy so no one will suspect that I still think of you, but it's hard…

My heels clicking against the sidewalk as we walk. I look back down at the ground. The ground is thawing, going from cold to warm. Why can't my heart change like that?


	3. The Rain Falls, So Do My Tears

_**The Rain Falls**_

I was walking through the streets of Manhattan, looking like a complete miserable sight. It was pouring, and I was without an umbrella. My Miu Miu coat ruined now due to the rain. My once perfectly curled hair is now flat against my head. I keep walking though, too proud to get a taxi…

The light I'm passing is red, and I just so happen to look into a waiting limo… and I see you. You're smoking, the window down halfway, but you're not getting wet…

You're unaffected by the rain, why can't I be too? Can I come inside your limo and stay warm and dry? Can you give me a ride home?

I'm too proud to ask you that. Besides, you hate me now. I left you for another man… How could you not hate me?

My breath catches in my throat as your dark brown eyes meet mine, but I keep walking. I distantly hear your voice shouting my name, but I will not acknowledge it.

Just like the rain falls, so do my tears…


	4. The Grass Fails to Grows

_**The Grass Grows**_

Walking along the sidewalk that trailed through the beauty of Central Park, my mind wanders to you. How are you doing? I hope you're doing well. That's all I want, is for you to be well. I don't want to say happy only because I know I hurt you, and you won't be happy for a while…

Normally, I don't walk alone through Central Park, but being alone, being surrounded by the winter beauty… there's something right about it.

I'm about to leave, ready to go home and rest for the remainder of the afternoon and night… but then I see you.

You're walking your dog, Monkey, and you look dashing in your black suit, red undershirt, and black bowtie. Your bowtie… I remember when it used to be your signature scarf…

You're eyes see me, and I have to stop myself from walking across the grass that is vainly trying to grow. I want to be near you. I want to talk to you. I want to love you.

I can't…

Just as the grass fails to grow… I fail to be able to truly love you…


	5. Without You I'm Broken

_**Without You**_

I cried when I got home.

I'm locked away in my room, didn't go down for dinner, and I'm crying. Not as badly as I was earlier, but there are still tears.

Seeing you in Central Park, walking Monkey… it reminded me of how badly I hurt you by choosing Louis, even if you insisted on it at first.

… That could have been you and me walking our dog in Central Park. We could have been a loving couple, the one we used to be. Everyone always said we were perfect for each other… They just didn't know how destructive we are together.

I change into my nightgown, turn the lights off. I just want to curl up and pretend you're laying beside me.

My phone vibrates on the end table, and I reluctantly snatch it up, believing it will be some Gossip Girl Blast.

… It's you… You're calling.

I answer, but don't say a word. I'm waiting for you to say something…

"I miss you."

_Click_.

I listen to the silence after you end the call, the tears falling again. Without you I'm a broken. With you I'm complete.

"I miss you too…"


	6. The Seeds Root When We Don't

_**The Seeds Root**_

I'm pregnant…

I don't know what to do…

Dan is being helpful in the matter… he's been really sweet and caring towards me. Me, of all people. After all I put him through…

I'm afraid…

Afraid of who the father is.

I fear it will be Louis.

I fear it won't be you…

I feel like… whoever the father is… I'm meant to be with them. Or do I have it all wrong? Am I suppose to be with someone else? Am I truly suppose to let you go? Suffer through my engagement and slowly creeping marriage with Louis? … Why is Dan being so nice towards me?

Chuck… Why isn't life easy? Things were simple in high school. We were dominant. Top of the food chain. I was Queen B. You were my evil prince…

… Why is it the seeds root when we don't want them to?


End file.
